German Rail Efficiency

Forged travel IDs in hand, the team boards the suborbital for Berlin. While the travel may have been exciting for first-timers, it was otherwise uneventful. When the team arrived in Berlin their tickets took them first to a well armed, high-end, bullet train to Munich. They then transferred into a sluggish, dingy, old, three-car locomotive with a single engine and a caboose armed with dual auto cannons.

There were several ‘customs stops in the provinces they passed through, but one, about 50 km distant from Munchmaussen was a bit different. the thuggish soldiers that boarded the train apparently forgot to bring their customs inspector. But they didn’t forget their avarice.

The thugs were trying to shake Lord Z3R0 down for his ’link and other personal effects. Two other goons were hassling an old farmer couple at the far end of the car. Another eight soldiers were strong-arming passengers and the other two cars. Unarmed, Zero looked to Lot for assistance against the guns. Lot seemed a bit reluctant at first, but with a roll of his eyes, he took control of their “minds” and directed them to move off down the train.

Moments later they heard the rattle of distant auto fire. Glass shattered at the far end of the train. Screams and shouting ensued as soldiers rushed to the windows and passengers ducked low. Now the distinctive scream of Thunderbird turbines could be heard as a German LAV raced into view. It settled into a hover about 40 m from the train while it’s PA system began shouting in German for the soldiers on board to throw down their weapons come outside and surrender. The soldiers instead decided to flatten their assault rifles bullets on the armor of the panzer. The LAV returned the fire from its tail mounted medium machine gun. About then one of the goons had the epiphany that it might be best to engage the armored vehicle with his grenade launcher. The explosion shifted the panzer about a meter to the right before it’s thrusters compensated. The scream of the high powered turbines masked the wine of the rotary auto cannon as it spun up to speed – but nothing could hide the colossal tearing sound as the cannon ripped a hole through the middle car.

Lot and Zero plastered themselves against the far end of the of their car as they watched the center of the car behind them disintegrate. The remaining soldiers wisely chose to surrender at that point. They marched off the far side of the train, laid down their weapons and lined up with their hands raised. The t-bird screamed around to the far side as the PA directed the soldiers to get on their knees. The LAV then settled into a hover and opened its side door. A half-dozen troopers, well armed and well armored, got out and moved to secure the train. The LAV’s door gunner, looking very bored, covered the prisoners. He was startled to wakefulness and the cannon spoke again obliterating hi charges.

Lot and Zero hunkered down to await the changing of the guard, with Zero obviously very distressed by the wanton savagery of the rebels. Lot, in contrast, was clearly more concerned that he not be the target of such overwhelming firepower. After a short, tense discussion on their ’links Lot muttered “what would Perses do?” and said “what the hell.” The two of them then began their mad dash across 25 m of terrain commanded by a hellish autocannon.

Lot’ mind controlled the door gunner who immediately went into action, pouring fire into the locomotive beyond them to their right.

They were running full out through the dust and debris kicked up by the Panzer’s jet-wash. the scream of the pan panzer’s engines drowned out almost everything else, but occasionally they could hear the clang of a bullet ricocheting off the locomotive. Then Lord Z3R0 heard a snap by his ear just before he saw a bullet-strike on the side of the panzer. The door gunner traversed his weapon and returned fire towards the caboose. A moment later he was dancing to the rhythm of the lead, before hanging slack in his harness. Lot and Zero could still hear hissing and snapping around them as bullets whizzed past. They dove into the crew compartment. Zero, thanks to his linguist soft, could read the German instructions to close the armored door. Lot looked down the passage into the pilot’s compartment and saw a fellow with a heavy aviator’s helmet looking back at him. A moment later, the pilot was Lot’s newest puppet.

Zero put his computerized German to use over the panzer’s PA system, ordering the rebels to surrender. They were reluctant at first but a warning shot from the auto cannon change their minds. Two rebels were dead, one was wounded and three were relatively unharmed. Zero ordered them to stand in a line, remove their pants and give them to the conductor. The rebels were then directed to march back to their commander. The runners then decided they were happy with their new form of transportation and left the train behind. Zero dove into the tank’s computer and instantly realized that he would not be able to pilot it himself but that it did have a functioning autopilot and at a slow rate of speed it could given orders to drive them around. So Lot further ordered his meat puppet to drive to teh outskirts of Munchmaussen. When they got out of the vehicle, they ordered the pilot to take off his helmet and then shot him in the head. He really was a bad guy.

Lot and Zero walked the rest of the way into the village where they found the hotel reservations had been made, at a very nice, touristy, really high-end place. They ordered beers and sausages went to their rooms discovering the crates and equipment that Johnson had already shipped to them.

Zero was in the bathroom and Lot was examining the Ares Predators when there was a knock at the door. he moved quickly to it, pistol in hand, to find a buxom blonde woman waiting outside. Asking her to wait a moment (after she identified herself as Goldie, the the local tourism director) he covered the crates and stashed his pistol and finally opened the door.
Goldie made some small talk and asked where they were from and what they intended to do while in Munchausen,etc., suggesting that she thought they must be mountaineers by the looks of their equipment. Lot said a variety of polite nothings and sent her on her way. Zero came back from the bathroom chuckling to himself.

Lot asked what he thought was so funny and Zero replied “I was just thinking how I would love to be a fly on the wall when those soldiers get back to their commander.
Virst qvestion: vere are your pants?! But more important: where ist the PANZER!?”

German Rail Efficiency

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